Quotes from the old folks

I have just a few quotes that I have heard or my coworkers have shared with me from the residents. I hope you enjoy them too.
5. Why I am as healthy as a horse,Dr.Clemens said there is not a thing wrong with me. I've never been sick a day in my life.(this coming from a women who cannot remember 10 minutes ago.)
4.The nurses have been sticking me with needles. Everyone is trying to get rid of me.Why I think I will just leave.You wouldn't care anyway.
3.I go poop in da pot ,I go poop in da pot.Do you piss in bed?
2.what day is it,what day is it? Do you go to the Alton Reformed church do you go to the Alton reformed church?Where is my husband/kids/mother.(that we hear more then anything.) and we were taught to say oh the will be here later,NEVER say they are dead.You hope they forget later on.
One day i told a lady her mom (this lady was in her 90's asking where is my mom where is my mom, I said she is baking cookies for the church bazaar. Now I thought I was soooo smart thinking this good answer she looked at me and said NO she is NOT!!! She is working on the farm!!! Well I tried sometimes it works other times not. Those time I usually slowly walk away.
But the #1 quote goes to a 102 year old who recently had surgery for a broken hip.
1.Resident,"I think I am dieing,Staff why do you think you are dieing, .
Resident well I've never died before but I think I am.
So far she has not. LOLOLOL