Friday, January 18, 2008

I better drink some


Mr.Brian better go to Wal-Mart buy about ten jugs of fabric softener and drink it so soften him up some.
The longer I think of all the crud going on with work.(lies, phony compassion/comments) I get upset with myself because I get angry. The past few weeks I have heard more fibs then I care to count.The sad thing is there are people out there who I am afraid fall for them.I am so full of anger and frustrations lately and I hate it.I see the hurt that has been done to one of my co-workers because of all of this.She has been lead to think she has the problem and is hard to get along with.It is not that way and I keep telling her this.She has become withdrawn and very quiet.I feel her self esteem has been shot down.This of the gal who always encouraged me and lifted me up when I was having a bad day. I keep telling her she is not the problem. I tell her she has nothing to worry about. I only wished she believed me. I tell her soon things will be better, and I know they will.
I get so angry because I know I am not acting in a Godly way.I know I am not pleasing God with my thoughts and my wagging tongue.I want so bad to just say oh well that's the way it is, but I can not do it.I am angry, and yes I guess you would say pissed off too.I try talking about it and I get all chocked up and have to change the subject.Except with a few close family and friends I try to put on my happy face but deep down I have such harsh feelings over all of this.
And to think what got this all going??????? Because Tami and I stayed and did our jobs on New Years Eve.
I only have two days left and they will not end soon enough.The sleepless nights have returned,the sick feeling before I go to work and the headaches and blood pressure are there too.
So I am off to drink some fabric softener in hopes of softening my heart and soul.
I know in a few weeks or month i will look back and see this all as a learning experience(or so I hope).
So please pray not only for me but my dear friend Tami as she has many hurts to be healed as well.
Thanks so much for all of your love and encouraging words, it means more to me then you will EVER EVER KNOW!!!!!!!!!
May you be as blessed as I have been knowing you.
Waiting for brighter days...
Hugs to all of you,
Mr.Brian
P.S. Seems any blog I read tonight got me crying so If I left some stupid comment I appolagize!

9 comments:

cougchick said...

Hang in there Mr. B.

Fabric softener? Maybe try some syrup. It is soft and sweet at the same time...

Have a good weekend.

Steffie B. said...

I will email you later today my friend....hang in there....things are going to get better....PROMISE!

OH MY #6 said...

Oh my, don't be so hard on yourself. I have been reading/lurking your BLOG for a while now and you are such an inspiration. Please know that.

Lea

PS. thanx for stopping by my BLOG!

K1 said...

Prayers and hugs coming to you both.

Don't let the bas**rds keep you down.


BTW, what happened NYE to cause the trouble?

Janet said...

I don't think you NEED fabric softener, it sounds like your heart is soft and sweet already. Hang in there, Mr. B. You are a good friend to Tami, and you are a great guy. Keep trusting in your Father in heaven. He will NEVER let you down.

Hugs to you!

redmaryjanes said...

Once you are out of there, you will see some much brighter skies. I am so glad that you are going back to your old job. Hang in there. And I know what you are saying. I am in a tough situation with a man at work and it is not bringing out the best in me.

crazylady said...

I don't make you cry do I? And crying out for me doesn't count!
I wish I were there to lower your blood pressure in the best way I know ;)
I can't believe you haven't told Steffie!

Tiffany said...

Keeping you in my prayers!

I sure don't think you need any fabric softener! When I read your posts I get the feeling that you have a soft heart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Shocks said...

I so understand what you are going through. You will be changing jobs soon. I have a post for you on my blog. Be sure to check it out.