Monday, October 1, 2007

Mixed Blessings

This may be one of those posts that my words just run all mixed together and make little sense.I hope that you will all be able to understand that I am speaking from my heart to all of you.
As I go and read the blogs lately I just get all mixed feelings.On one hand I share the joy and excitement as I read of a family that has been matched with a child.I read of the joy they are feeling.Bursting at the seems waiting for that call that tells them the date they get to hold this child they have been waiting for. I read the comments from others as they also share the joy.
Then I read a blog of the aches in a heart that a family is feeling as they learn that they were not matched again. I do not understand all of this L.I.D. business or the lists and how this all works.But I do understand the frustrations and hurt and maybe at times anger as to why it is taking so long. My thought is if this is your second time you have already been approved once just hurry up and get you matched.Simple, from start to finish 1 year max.
Can only imagine the feeling that go through your minds as well.
Can any of you explain to me why it is such a long wait?Are there so many waiting for kids that they have more parents then children to adopt?I just always thought that there are 100's if not thousands of children waiting for a loving home.Are there other options?Russia,Hatti,surely there are many many other countries that have children needing homes.I in no way mean to say that China is the wrong way to go, but what about other countries????
I am hoping that I get some interesting answers to this.
My main reason when i started this post tonight was to just send out hugs to all and let you know Mr. Brian does care and wants you I am praying for all of you and wishing many happy thoughts going your way.
Hope I did not offend any of you as that was not my intentions. Like I said just lots of wondering why?????


redmaryjanes said...

Mr. Brian,
We all know that you truly care and that is why we adore you. It's a complicated situation. In my opinion it is all beurocracy (did I spell that right). There are plenty of children waiting for families. China is a country facing many issues. Appearances and honor are very important to them. I think that they are limiting the number of children they are allowing out of the country because they know that they are being viewed as a not so modern country because of their treatment of women and the child abandonment issues. Also, they have reached a point where their population is completely off-kilter. They have way too many men now and no women who will be there to marry them due to their efforts to control their population. I think they are holding back some of the girls now to offset this and keeping them in the institutions.
It is very difficult for those of us waiting for a baby to love. And in the case of myself and Steffie B., our agency is changing the rules and making things even harder for us and extending our wait time by at least 6 to 8 months by now requiring us to be through the review room (which is a step in the Chinese adoption process) before we can even look at the special needs children. Our friends who have already been matched before the rule change and our friends from other agencies will be bringing their children home while we are forced to wait. This has been an awful week for us.

BUT on a lighter note: You can never go wrong being a vampire for Halloween, it just requires some plastic teeth, a little make-up and a cape. Or, my oldest sons favorite is just a good scarey mask. It doesn't matter what clothes you are wearing when you slide on the scarey mask!

Janet said...

For us, there were many factors why we chose China. Mainly, because our agency told us it was a steady program with a solid reputation. So we went for it. Now the wait times have increased so much that we have considered other countries (Liberia, for instance), but the truth is, by the time we got our child from there, it would be just as long now, and it would cost a whole lot more. So....we wait. That's the short answer. :-) said...

There are numerous reasons Dear Mr Brian. True,there are well over 1-million children in China's adoption program. However the real challenge now is domestic adoption in China is on the rise. Meaning the Chinese are adopting their own. Good for them, bad for those waiting. Also, there are limited SWI who have been authorized and approved to adopt internationally. So, even though there are so many children in the program there is a rather limited number who are "paper" ready. Yes, China does have the one child policy but this is not enforced in all provinces nor is it the law in all either.

Why did we choose China?! Frankly for their strong adoption program. China also was known to have healthy well taken care of children.(I got two of those healthy ones) My understanding is that the other countries have slowed down too. I have a friend adopting from Albania. They just celebrated their 1-year lid and they were told it could be another 2 years before being matched! I hear Ethiopia is processing quickly, but I don't know that there is any guarantees anywhere. I know VT has slowed up drastically.
I agree with you however. It is a happy time for many but equally a heart breaking time for many more. My heart goes out to them.