Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Hard to understand.

I think by now all of you know I work in a nursing home.It is a job I enjoy and feel I have been blessed to do.It has many rewards,but also some hard things as well.
One of the hardest things I face with my job is death.
Now I consider myself to be strong in my faith and know God has a wonderful plan for all of us.However I often do not understand why an elderly person who is very sick,weak and dying needs to suffer so long.It tears my heart to be helping a resident who is so weak and frail and wanting to be called home to heaven and they just keep going on.Deep in my heart I know that in (HIS) time they will be called home.I just ache seeing them suffer and loose so much dignity before they can pass away.Seeing a frail body just hanging on seems so hard.
I have often prayed a pray at night that the Lord calls them home soon.Is this wrong??? I do not know.
Today we had a resident take a quick change in condition for the worse.Family was called, and they always want to know how long?????It could be hours,days.....we do not know.
Yes I am at a job I love,but also a job that brings much sadness and questions.
I will cry with the family as their loved one takes their last breaths, I will be their rock if needed,I will give great hugs.I will just give a warm smile or a friendly word of support.
But I will never understand why one who is so ready to go to their Heavenly home has to suffer so long.
I know none of you will have the right answer to this nor do I expect you to. I think I just needed to write about my feelings and express my feelings I have at times.
Is it wrong to pray that they are called home????I do not have the answers .
Thanks for letting me share from my heart.
As I go to bed tonight I will pray that God is mercifully and soon calls these people who are suffering home.
with a heavy heart.
I bet you folks enjoy my funny stories more then the deep thoughts.

As an added note please pray for my sister Sheila.I got a call from my parents that she had a stroke today.She is 50 years old.At this time we do not know how severe it is but please pray for a full recovery.My mom stated she was hving problems with her speach and numbness on lips and tounge.Not sure about left otr right side.
Also pray they mom and dad are at peace when they are worried about their child.As mom stated this is to happen to the parent not the child.

****** An update on my sister.My mom just called again and said the Dr. said it was a mini stroke and thigs look good.He stated thanks to her coming into ER when she did it prevented a full blown stroke.(good thing her husband was persistant in her getting checked out.0
Thanks for all the kind words and prayers.


Janet said...

When Grandpa was dying, we all prayed that he would be called home. He wanted to go and be with his Maker SO badly, and he was suffering so much. We all know he is happy and perfect now, so, no, I don't think it's wrong to pray that.

As for why the long wait....I'm not sure we'll ever know. Only God knows. And He is perfectly kind and good, so there is a purpose. We just don't know what it is....:-)

redmaryjanes said...

I am praying for you and your entire family. You know that we all love you and care for you.
Try to take care of each other as best as you can right now.
Please keep us informed.

LaLa said...

Thinking of you and hoping you get a good report about your sister : )

Janet said...

Dear Mr. B,

I am praying for you, dear friend. I hope your sister will be okay. *Hugs*

Waiting for Mia Hope! said...

Praying for your sister! My brother is struggling with cancer right now (48 years old)...its not easy. I have to say that I really admire the work that you do. I was with my dad as he took his last breath in a nursing home. It was the staff that held me...supported me...and walked me thru one of the most difficult nights. I will never forget them! My life has moved on...but they must return to a sometimes thankless job waiting for the next life that lingers to pass...being a pillar of strength to a hurting family. Thank you for being that pillar! I can't imagine that is would be anything but a blessing to pray someone home to our Father's arms. I can't bare watching what you described. I also admire you for having the endurance to witness this over and over and having a heart big enough to go home and pray for these precious Seniors. Thank you for your compassion!

Margaret Miracle said...

This is my first visit to your blog. I have seen you comment on the Seventh Diamond Saturday Morning Chats but have never made the trip over. I must admit that I am amazed at the emotions you discuss in regards to your patients. I once watched my Grandfather who had lived with me since my birth slowly decline in a nursing home. The staff and home were wonderful and we were so blessed to have him in this particular home. It did not make it any easier however to watch the man I so loved and admire fade so slowly from this life. After this experience, I have always prayed that God's Will be done...quickly. I think your thoughts are beautiful and they touched me. I think in no way that praying for a peaceful exit from this world for someone you are caring for is in any way wrong. I admire what you do for a living as I could not. Many blessings to you and your family and your sister is most definitely in my prayers this evening!

Walker said...

Sorry to hear about your sister.. I'll be praying for healing.
Also, about your question on "praying that God will take those who suffer home"... I think it's perfectly Normal to pray this. Nobody likes to see someone suffer.
Everything happens for His Glory! I believe He keeps the one who suffers here so that He can be gloried thru it.. whether in Death or Life. And, it could be just so that someone standing on the sidelines witnesses His Glory And comes to know Him as their Saviour! Thank you for what you do for the elderly. Your prayers & support mean so much!

Denise C said...

Mr Brian,
I just wanted to stop by and let you know that I am praying for your sister! I am so glad to read the update that is was in fact a mini stroke. I will continue to lift her up to the Father for complete healing!
I pray sweet blessings on all of your family!!!
Denise C

kerri said...

Mr. B, so glad to hear your sister is doing well, we were thinking of you and your family...

cougchick said...

In my prayers, Mr. Brian...

Alyson & Ford said...

I believe praying about "God's will be done" is the only way to understand why it is happening. You are so caring and supportive of the families; you are a blessing to the nursing home.

Celebrating 22 days as Mommy to Alyzabeth